I scroll through my dash almost completely every day, but don’t post anything.
I fall into these cycles and I hate it every time. Cycles of being busy for a while and unable to be as active as I’d like, or just busy enough that I feel like I can’t start anything or I won’t be able to give the time I’d like to devote to it. Then, when things calm down… it’s always so hard to start back up again. I lose faith in my writing, old insecurities cropping up, motivation stolen by every little thing. I’m not sure what keeps stopping me from just jumping back in. I have at least 4 major plot things in my drafts, nearly all of which were started before Christmas.
It’s not even just with writing on this blog, but everything. My art, character creation, even adult things I’m supposed to be doing like working out my finances, getting a credit card or planning my wedding. It’s very un-Megatron of me. I feel like my feet are trapped, like I can’t go forward, or back to where I was. I’m great at giving other people advice about their problems, but when it comes to mine, I just… shut down, distract myself so I don’t have to think about all the things I haven’t done yet. I don’t know why I can’t just force myself to do things that I need to start doing. I’m still here, Megs is still here, I just wanted to let this out and give a little context for the current lull in activity.
Anyway, I love all of you guys, and watching your interactions makes me smile even when I’m not involved. Keep being awesome, I’ll get my shit together eventually. ❤
