radioactivibee:
What happened in your universe that was so different? Why didn’t you, like, actually kill me at Tyger Pax? What else did you see in my mind? What did it feel like to die and do you feel empty to? How much of the war do you regret?
…What can I do to help?
Having never researched your universe, I can’t say. I can only speak for my own experiences of the war.
Crushing your voicebox seemed like a fitting punishment for a stubborn scout who refused to talk. At the time whether you lived or not was irrelevant, it would have sent the same message to the Autobots. Now, I am glad for your survival.
While you were offline I saw nothing, and was easily able to take control. When you were awake, I saw your connection to Rafael, and didn’t kill him knowing that I could use that later. I saw you, shorter and weaker than you were in reality.
I have come to the brink of death many times, the closest being the space bridge explosion and of course, my defeat at your hand. My spark felt pulled away somewhere, but Unicron’s claws held it back. My body was unresponsive, and all I was aware of during the worst of it was an extremely dulled pain, which I clung to with any strength I had left. If it hurt, then I was still alive.
I am not allowed to feel empty. He is always there. Sometimes, I would rather feel the emptiness you describe.
Regret is a luxury. The past cannot be altered, whether I still agree with my choices or not. The future is what can still be affected.
Anything would be appreciated. Smokescreen is starting up an educational service, for those who have been off-planet for millenia. Talk to people, improve relations. Stop wandering around dangerous abandoned prisons and going out to Primus-knows where on your own.